Ivan’s Gunge Tank Wonderland

I genuinely now have lost count of the Splat shows I have done.  2018 has been manic, both on camera and behind the scenes.   What I do know is when a day went more than just well, and writing this blog I know that today has defied the odds to be something truly special.  And some of you will be having your loyalty to Splat very much rewarded…

Just getting to Splat today was a challenge. For the first time I was sitting on the train wondering if it would even get me to Splat HQ as there were so many issues on the line. I knew there was a lot to set up and prep and Pete wouldn’t be able to do it without me…. purely because I had half the stuff for today’s shoot in my bag! I hate the idea of keeping models waiting around so was anxious about getting things set up before Ivan arrived… except it turned out Ivan was on the same train as me and we actually spent the 10 minute walk to HQ chatting away merrily.  He is impossibly nice, yes on screen there’s a rivalry starting between us (more of which later) but I don’t think I can say a single bad thing about him.  He even offered to help carry the stuff up the hill. I was too much of a gentleman to let him though. Plus I really do think he is a very talented person and somehow it didn’t seem right letting the star do donkey work.

Setup was done at a rate of knots (being a returner there wasn’t the whole health and safety stuff to go through) and we were off….  We did the catch up interview but Pete gave it a fantastic twist and then gave me free reign to be the “mouthpiece” of the tank.  Any worries we might have had that his first show was a one off went out the window as Ivan gave us the goods again (and again and again). I sometimes wish there was a camera pointing out of the tank as you would really see just how much Pete and I struggle not to laugh at Ivan’s antics.

As it’s a special, we wanted to do a few new things to make it stand out and we had had an idea about a new “scoring” system.  What made it to the screen wasn’t the original idea BUT what we ended up with was something far better.  Yes it’s innuendo laden, yes Ivan plays along and no, what you see emerge from the tank isn’t actually what we had originally intended either.  We had literally just started the camera running to get the framing stuff sorted out (I am definitely learning a lot from Pete about getting it to look right) when the tank malfunctioned and emptied itself! By a miracle Ivan wasn’t underneath it when it happened so we didn’t lose an outfit but we did have to spend quite a bit of time scooping the mess out and re-loading it along with fixing the release mechanism! And yes, we helped Ivan out something rotten with some of the questions.  You know that thing about him being a nice guy? He knows what the fans want and so he really makes sure that the end footage is good for you guys and goes along with everything. Do I feel guilty about getting him square in the face so many times? Nope.  Do I feel bad about that last pie? Hell no.  Ivan loves the attention, and today I really loved the on screen stuff between us.  And if he thinks he’s going to get his own back then he had better brush up on his general knowledge 😉

What I really want to say though is you, the fans, have stood by Splat through everything.  Today we wanted to repay you the best we could.  There were three “fan special” segments today.  One for the club, a vote and a pre-order.  You put your trust in us and we really went with it.  The gunge tank vote…. yes that really is THIRTY cans of rice pudding in the tank.  Ivan’s comment about the smell IS for real.  Yes, it was actually gross and yes, it left us with a big clean up job… but you guys are worth it.  And as for Ivan’s 12 Days of Splat Christmas?  If you pre-ordered that then I promise you you haven’t seen a gunging that intense before.  Imagine a Splat storm but scaled up a factor of ten.  It knackered us (meh, Ivan just sat there) because we really went for it.  Tankings, buckets, foam…. you definitely got your 12 days, and about another week on top of it!

I ache like crazy from that shoot.  Every game was done on full with barely a pause between them.  Tanks were filled, bucket upon bucket lifted, shifted and thrown.  By the end there was a mini waterfall pouring down my face.  But know what? Even by Splat standards that was an amazing shoot.  Not just because of the fantastic gungings. Not just because Pete had put together an amazing set of games. But because Ivan brings an atmosphere with him that no other model does.  Yes, other models are great to work with.  Yes, I get on really well with some and we actually chat outside of the shoot as well…. But Ivan just has something about him that means the shoot is pure joy, even with the camera breaking down, the tank having issues, the trains causing stress, the gunge clean up being beyond rank…. 

Ivan, you were legendary today.  I adore working with you. And most of all I KNOW the Splat fans absolutely love you.  I think you earned a place in the Splat Hall of Fame today…. but yes, come back for a third time and I will TRASH YOU!!!!!! 😉